About Last Night
by jtav
Summary: Miranda deals with the consequences of her relationship with Liara and her doubts about Cerberus. Sequel to Last Night of the World.


Miranda lay on her side, propped up on one elbow. Liara dozed beside her. Miranda supposed she should wake her, but the selfish part of her was content merely to watch her sleep. Feron could keep the Shadow Broker network operational on his own for a little while longer. Liara's skin was a pale blue in the half light of Miranda's quarters. Miranda smiled to herself. If anyone had told her two years ago that Liara would one day be sleeping beside her, she would have laughed in their face. Her infatuation with Liara had always seemed to be something she would have to endure. Liara would never want her. That, Miranda thought, was one misjudgment she could live with.

The sex had been good once they'd gotten past the initial awkwardness. That wasn't the remarkable thing. She remembered accidentally tickling Liara and laughing at herself for her clumsiness and presumption. She was days away from a suicide mission that had seemed to consume her every waking moment until now, and she had been able to laugh with Liara. She remembered Liara's breath curling around her cheek as they'd talked afterward. Nothing consequential: reminiscences of their first meeting on Omega, comparing the first Normandy to the second, the ever present annoyance that was Nos Astra bureaucracy. It had been years since she had stayed and talked after sex. The easy, comfortable conversation in the afterglow was something rare. She wanted more of that.

She had no idea if Liara wanted the same. Miranda had used sex as a form of stress relief more than once. It might be the same for Liara: a brief respite from her duties mixed with fondness for someone about to go on a suicide mission. But it might not be. Liara might be amenable to this happening again. Miranda would not dismiss the possibility out of hand. So many seemingly impossible things had already happened. She had spoken to Oriana. Liara had slept with her. What was one more?

Liara stirred and opened her eyes. "Miranda?" she asked sleepily. She blinked once, twice. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"It's all right." Miranda leaned down to peck Liara on the lips. Liara did not pull away. "You've had a rough couple of days."

Liara cupped Miranda's cheek, running her thumb along Miranda's jawline. Miranda shivered. "I think you might have had a hand in exhausting me." She was using the same overdone seductive tone that she had earlier, but her smile was warm and affectionate. Perhaps hoping for more than one night wasn't so ridiculous after all. "How much longer until breakfast? I should probably be gone before the crew is up and about. I don't want to subject you to any undue gossip."

"Don't worry about it." Her looks had always seemed to invite speculation on her romantic life. Any rumors about her and Liara would be met with the same cool derision she always used when people pried into things that weren't there business. She wouldn't hide it, but this was something private, not to be shared with everyone she'd ever met. "Joker might have a heart attack if he knew."

Liara frowned. "That is not quite what I meant. There won't be trouble for you because of this?"

Miranda settled back down, pillowing her head on Liara's shoulder. "From the Illusive Man? He doesn't care who I sleep with as long as I do my job." Of course, she'd never slept with the Shadow Broker, either. But she'd already proven her loyalty to Cerberus a thousand times over, as well as her ability to separate her personal and professional lives. She was risking her life for humanity. Surely she could afford this much selfishness? And more, if Liara was willing.

When she spoke, Miranda's voice was slow and careful. "I could arrange something more discreet next time, if you wish. A hotel, perhaps."

Liara fixed her gaze with her own. It was a strange sensation, being studied by Liara T'Soni. She felt as if Liara were peeling her back layer by layer. Miranda didn't flinch. She wouldn't let herself be unnerved. She watched as surprise and what she hoped was affection spread across Liara's face. "You want... you want to do this again?"

"If I survive. And if it's something you want." Her tone was light, even careless.

Liara smiled. "I would like it very much." She ran a hand down Miranda's spine, drawing lazy circles as she did so. "I must admit you aren't what I expected. You were so terrifying, so cold, when I first met you."

"I had a job to do." _And I was doing my best to hold on to my professionalism in the face of a very violent attack of hormones. _At least she had done her job. The day her romantic life interfered with her work for Cerberus was the day she took a vow of celibacy.

"And the old Broker's files on you... 'ruthless, efficient, obsessed with human dominance.'" Her brow furrowed as if in thought. "All true as far as they go, I suppose, but he still managed to miss everything important. He was only right about one thing."

Miranda felt a curious warmth spreading through her. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask exactly what important things the yahg had missed, but that was too much like fishing for compliments. Instead, she asked, "And what, exactly, did he get right?"

"He wanted to recruit you."

"What?" Miranda bolted upright. "I'd never have joined him." It was preposterous. The yahg had been a mercenary creature, concerned only with his own wealth and power. The mere thought of squandering her gifts on that made Miranda sick.

Liara's speech was slow and careful. "You've been doing this longer than I have, and I could always use more help. We could fight the Reapers together." She blushed. "And it would be so nice to have you close. I'm not accustomed to sneaking around."

Miranda's mind was racing. She heard the words, but they couldn't possibly mean what she thought they did. "Are you trying to recruit me?"

Liara looked at her again. There was a new strength and determination in her gaze that reminded Miranda that she was dealing not only with a lover, but the woman who had taken over the largest information network in the galaxy. Hardly the angry, grieving archaeologist Miranda had met on Omega. "I suppose I am."

Miranda's shoulders slumped. She'd been afraid of that. There were certain rules that had to be followed to keep your sanity in the information business. The most important was to never confuse the personal with the professional. Clearly, that was a lesson Liara was still learning. "Don't say things like that. I'm Cerberus. We can keep doing this, but I have work to do. You hold the galaxy together. Cerberus and I advance humanity."

Liara made a small, contemptuous noise in the back of her throat. "You weren't the only person that the yahg had files on. Do you know what Cerberus has done in the name of advancing humanity?"

The last of the warmth dissipated, replaced by something cold that encased itself around Miranda's chest. "We do good work. I don't pretend that I'm a saint, or that the Illusive Man is, but we have humanity's best interests at heart. This business sometimes calls for unpleasant but necessary things. You ought to have learned that by now."

"Don't patronize me, Miranda." Liara bristled. "What interests were advanced by Pragia and Aite? I know you saw what they did there, and I have files on a dozen more projects just as dubious." Her voice softened abruptly. "If this is about your sister—"

"No!" She sprang from the bed and searched for her own discarded clothing. She could hear Liara doing the same. Damn this darkness. Damn Liara for saying such things. And damn her for being so lust-addled that she couldn't see this coming. Her hands shook as she zipped up the jumpsuit. "I believe in what Cerberus stands for. I won't be blamed for the actions of a few rogue cells." And they were rogue. She couldn't have been so colossally misguided for so long. The Illusive Man had shut down Teltin. He hadn't told Archer to hook his brother up to that_ contraption_. Everything could be explained away. Everything.

"Miranda—"

"I suggest you go. You did want to be gone before breakfast." Miranda's throat felt raw, and it was only with difficulty that she kept her voice even. "Now, Liara."

Liara obeyed. Miranda watched her go in silence. _Idiots, both of us._

* * *

><p>"What the <em>hell<em> did you do to her, Lawson?"

Miranda looked up from the paragraph she had been trying to write the last twenty minutes. Shepard's eyes crackled with a barely suppressed rage. She had seen the look before when he had shouted down the Admiralty Board at Tali's trial. It had never been directed at her. He slammed a datapad down on her desk. "Liara came by to see me again this morning before she left. Told me to give you this, but she wouldn't tell me what was wrong or stick around even when I offered her breakfast. Said she was busy." He gave a bark of laughter. "She's a terrible liar for an information broker."

Miranda made no move to take the datapad. She had to be calm about this. "Any problems I may be having with Dr. T'Soni are not your concern." She would not allow her feelings for Liara to affect the mission. Her petty romantic disappointments paled before the Collector threat. She would dive into her work just as she had done after Niket's betrayal. The pain would fade as it always did. It was ridiculous that Liara had been able to hurt her at all. Satisfying her lust ought to have been enough. From now on, it would be.

"It's my business all right. I've seen the way you look at her, like a steak dinner you want to devour. And she disappeared for hours, but EDI can't tell me where she was. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what you two were doing." He took a deep breath. "Liara is my friend. Hell, she and Tali and Garrus are the closest thing I have to family. So I take it personally when someone hurts her. You're okay for Cerberus, Lawson, and I'd hate to have to break your neck."

_Does everyone know about my ridiculous infatuation? _"Those threats of yours are terribly juvenile."

He threw up his hands. "Just... just don't hurt her. I think she actually cares about you."

Miranda waited until he was gone to pick up the datapad. It was a timeline of Cerberus activity. A list of projects cross referenced with supporting data. Miranda read, telling herself that it was her duty to take advantage of the treasure trove of intelligence that Liara had given her. The Illusive Man would be thrilled to know how extensive the old Broker's knowledge had been. One set of entries in particular caught her eye.

_2169 - TRAPDOOR experiments on asari captives with omega-enkaphalin to measure disruption of biotic powers. Estimate 2.5 mg active ingredient for each 25 kg of body weight; under 7.5 mg dose optimal to avoid detection by taste or smell; 3-5 Citadel standard days onset period; powers return in 2-5 Cit-stan days after last dose taken; permanent damage possible._

_2170 - Nanosurgery on Subject Zero successful: omega-enkaphalin fails to work on appropriate receptors. Program begins to instill other Cerberus operatives with resistance to "O-E."_

_2181 - Matriarch Tilia Eraza targeted with omega-enkaphalin. Claims of biotic superiority to non-biotics deflated once her powers fail. Voice in citizen legislature considerably diminished._

The supporting documents told of asari bought from slavers and subjected to experiments that led to permanent neural scarring, insanity, and even death. She didn't dispute the usefulness of the ability to disrupt biotic power, but cloned tissue would have worked just as well. _Just as threshers could have been studied without murdering marines. Just as a powerful biotic could have been produced without keeping her in a cell._ At least those could be dismissed as the actions of isolated cells. This was harder. She had been one of the operatives who had undergone a procedure to make her resistant to O-E. The Illusive Man had told her it had been discovered by one of the teams working at New Dawn Pharmaceuticals. So at the very least, he had lied to her. Again. She remembered, too, discussions on how to remove Tilia's influence. She had suggested leaking the fact that she had certain genetic markers of those on the A-Y spectrum to the press. It would drastically reduce her influence and had the added bonus of being true. Cerberus' hands were not clean. Her own hands were not clean. Efficiency demanded the occasional...regrettable shortcut for the greater good. This was pointless cruelty.

And yet, she could not dismiss it. It made sense for the data to be used, even if it had been obtained through despicable means. Moral indignation wouldn't raise the dead. But incidents like this happened again and again. She had learned of three in as many months. How many more did she have to uncover before the Illusive Man's assurances that they were rogue cells rang hollow? He had already proven on the Collector ship how casually he would sacrifice her life for an advantage. Maybe she was wrong about this, too.

Liara had appended a note to the bottom.

_Do what you want with this. I do worry for you. You may believe in a better humanity, but I'm not sure your employer does. You don't have to work for me. I just want you to use your talents for a cause that deserves them. Keep yourself safe. For me._

Miranda fought the urge to throw the datapad against the wall. Liara wanted Miranda to keep herself safe, but she seemed to be doing her best to fill her with doubt just days before a suicide mission. _Not that I didn't doubt before._ Ironic, really. She had been so proud and excited to be a part of Lazarus. Conquering death and resurrecting humanity's savior showcased the very best of what humanity was capable of and taxed her abilities to the limit. It had given her a chance to create life in her own way even after Dr. Greenway's diagnosis. It represented everything Cerberus stood for, everything she stood for. And all it had given her was doubt.

* * *

><p>The last bit of tubing shattered, and the supports holding the embryonic Reaper collapsed. The platform rumbled beneath Miranda feet, and she braced herself to keep from falling. The Reaper emitted a wordless groan of pain as it tumbled into the abyss. It was done. The Collectors' plan had been foiled, and Shepard was minutes away from priming the explosives and destroying them forever. And they had survived. Humanity had scored an amazing victory at a very low cost.<p>

A low cost, not a nonexistent one. They had been too late to save the entire crew. Miranda had the feeling the sight of Chambers screaming as she evaporated into nothing would stay with her forever. Those who died had been worse than cattle. It would be a relief to be morally unambiguous for once and destroy the Collectors and their base. One less tool for the Reapers.

Her earpiece crackled to life. "Incoming message from the Illusive Man," Joker said.

Miranda switched on her omni-tool and positioned herself so that Shepard and the Illusive Man could communicate face-to-face. "Commander, you've done the impossible." She could hear the pride in the Illusive Man's voice as he spoke.

Shepard didn't look up. "I didn't do this alone. I've lost a lot of good people,"

"I know, and their sacrifice wasn't in vain. You've done the impossible and acquired the base. I had assumed that the best we could hope for was simply salvaging whatever was left after you destroyed the Collectors, but the schematics EDI uploaded suggest we have another option. A timed radiation pulse would destroy the Collectors, but leave their technology intact. Think of what secrets we could uncover!"

Miranda flinched. A small, irrational part of her wanted to blow the base to atoms just to erase what was done here and help her forget. That was stupid, but she still doubted. The Illusive Man seemed too gleeful, too enthralled. He spoke as if acquiring Collector technology, not stopping the abductions, had been his plan all along. The knowledge could be invaluable, but it could also be dangerous. The debacle aboard the derelict Reaper had taught her to be wary.

Shepard scoffed. "You have got to be kidding me. Cerberus nearly unleashed a rachni army on the galaxy, and you want me to give you access to Reaper tech? How long do you think it'll be before I have to save you from some indoctrinated scientist who decided to put a few more people into these tubes? I'm not even sure Reaper technology can be handled safely."

"It's not magic, Shepard. We have to study the Reapers if we're to have any chance of success. I know Cerberus has had its failures, but we do things ordinary humans can't. Do you think the technology to bring you back would exist if we'd waited for proper peer review?"

"I think I can beat the Reapers without being an idiot. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a base to destroy."

The holographic image of the Illusive Man pivoted abruptly, turning to face Miranda. His cybernetic eyes glowed brightly, giving him a manic, almost unhinged air. "Miranda, stop him! Don't let Shepard destroy the base!"

Miranda froze. Everything seemed to go silent, and she was suddenly conscious of the weight of the pistol at her side. Shepard stared at her but didn't speak. They all knew there was only one way she could stop Shepard from arming the explosives. The Illusive Man had told her two years ago that Shepard was their best chance of stopping the Reapers, but he was willing to kill him on the chance that the base would provide something useful. Two years of her life sacrificed for a hunch. No, it was worse than that. She'd seen Shepard in combat. She was skilled, but he was stronger and faster and simply better. She didn't like her chances of survival, even without Garrus standing right there and the rest of the crew between her and the _Normandy. _The Illusive Man would sacrifice her for this as well. So, did she trust him that much?

No, she didn't. "Or what?"

She half-hoped for appeals to her better nature, some stirring speech that would restore her shaken faith. Instead, "I gave you an order, Miranda."

And that was what it came down to in the end. Orders. Power. Not the betterment of humanity or saving the galaxy. _I just want you to use your talents for a cause that deserves them. _Well, she knew who didn't. "I noticed. Consider this my resignation." She switched off the omni-tool. Her mind felt as if it was being torn apart by a hundred different emotions. Grief. Anger. Exhilaration. Relief. They would be time to process it all later. For now, she had work to do.

Miranda closed her eyes briefly, picturing Liara as she had seen her on that night, naked and beautiful and smiling._ When I come back again, you and I are going to have a very long talk._


End file.
